If animals could talk, they’d probably ask PETA to kindly mind its own business.

Hundreds of thousand of cows, pigs and chickens are slaughtered in American factory farms every day (a ‘moral outrage’ that one might expect would occupy more of PETA’s messaging budget), the organization – which has hundreds of celebrity members (not unlike the Church of Scientology) – has instead devoted its latest PR campaign to combating ‘speciesism’. That’s right: PETA is trying to stop people from being ‘racist’ against chickens.

In a hilarious chart published by PETA this week (the graphic has since gone viral, which, now that we think about it, may have been the point), PETA suggested a few handy ‘PC’ phrases that people can use to combat ‘speciesism’ by replacing a few common idioms with phrases that are more ‘animal friendly.’

For example: Instead of saying ‘kill two birds with one stone’, people should instead say ‘feed two birds with one scone’. Or in place of the phrase ‘beat a dead horse’, PETA recommends saying ‘feed a fed horse.’

Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it. Here’s how to remove speciesism from your daily conversations. pic.twitter.com/o67EbBA7H4

— PETA: Bringing Home the Bagels Since 1980 (@peta) December 4, 2018

PETA’s chart provoked a few ‘thoughtful’ responses on social media, from vegans and non-vegans alike.

I think what PETA is trying to say is that when it comes to language, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. https://t.co/d6cpyubkrA

— Seth Keysor (@RealMNchiefsfan) December 5, 2018

Thanks, PETA. You’re the reason I can’t tell strangers I’m vegan- they think I’m THIS type of vegan https://t.co/rEqwG78zUJ

— Kaitlin Baumgarten (@wannabesutton) December 5, 2018

A few also took issue with PETA’s equating ‘speciesism’ with homophobia, sexism and racism.

In the next tweet PETA equates these phrases with racism and homophobia. Yiiiiiikes. https://t.co/9u9EgRa2t8

— Mitch Dyer (@MitchyD) December 5, 2018

And after perusing the responses to PETA’s tweet, we’d like to suggest a few additional substitutions for ‘speciesist’ language.

– Bring home the bacon – bring home the bagels. – More than one way to skin a cat – more than one way to sooth a bat. – Don’t have a cow – don’t milk a sow – Another day at the circus – another hike with the sherpas

We could go on…and on…

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