This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on July 22, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Just like the other question is the logical, and I’ve heard you speak about it because you’re — I’m not being solicitous. But you’re always straight up about what you’re doing.
And the question is whether or not we should be in a position where you are
— why can’t the experts say we know that this virus is in fact, it’s going to be — our assuming, we know why all the drugs approved or not temporarily approved but permanently approved.
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GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Hey, you remember when Trump had a typo?
(INAUDIBLE) yes. That is scary. So before we start the monologue, a lot of viewers have been asking about Kat Timpf. As you know, she had some minor surgery, so she’s off this week. But I figured I’d check in on her being her boss. So Kat, how you doing?
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UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I will be back on Monday.
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GUTFELD: So, you heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? It’s when you adopt a goal that influences your behavior in a way that causes that goal to become reality. It’s like Emily Compagno wanting to work with the greatest talk show host ever. And here she is. Not for long anyway, she’s getting on my nerves. But if you think — but if you think you’re never going to go anywhere in life, you won’t.
If you look at others as achieving at your expense leaving you behind, you will be left behind. Likewise, if you believe you can achieve greatness bar getting a job at CNN. It will happen. But if you focus on division, you will remain divided. The Power of Positive and negative thinking are two sides of the same coin. And you control the flip. It wasn’t always like that, especially for blacks, that scale was weighted against them.
But unless you’re Asian trying to get into Harvard, discrimination is illegal. The Democratic legacy of Jim Crow is gone. All that’s left are the accusations that it isn’t. The left is convinced that the scale is not only weighted against minorities but that the scale is permanently broken. Which is just not true, unless Stelter used it recently. All that’s left is dishonest hyperbole where voter I.D. is what the media calls Jim Crow on crack.
I call this the media fulfilling prophecy. What if the media creates a narrative that it reinforces daily until it feels true to those who consume it? I don’t think I even need the what if in that sentence. It’s a what is.
And it’s the only way CNN can get a story right. To create it, then hammer it daily until it becomes real. Gallup has a new poll out on race relations, and it reveals that the number of people who say things are good as hit a new low for two years straight.
Meanwhile, 57 percent say race relations are somewhat or very bad. Gallup admits the survey was done at the time Derek Chauvin was sentenced, which is like taking a poll that asked the question, do you think it will rain today, yes or no in the middle of a tsunami? It turned bad between 2013 and
2015 with Gallup linking this to the several high-profile killings of unarmed black people by police officers.
They were high profile, but a better term would be narrative fitting, there’s no questions those cases upset black and white Americans alike.
There’s even more agreement about that than our own hatred for Andrew Cuomo. But the media has like a dose of magic mushrooms distorted our reality. Go outside and observe the interactions between fellow Earthlings in commerce at work, in conversation, at the gym steam room where I do my nude Pilates.
Life just rolls on. And why? Because we all want the same things. Netflix, pizza and clean underwear. No matter the color we want to enjoy our lives be safe and secure. Enjoy a good game. Eat a good hotdog. Stand in line at Ace Hardware in our bright pink leggings. We all want effective law enforcement. But with this little abuse is possible. Now compare that to the CNN lens on American Life. It’s a dystopian nightmare of oppression.
Nightly this elite activist class pits White’s against blacks without ever considering the consequences. Meanwhile, this narrative that America’s racist gets crushed nightly by news footage of thousands of black and brown people pouring over the border. If this country is racist against black and brown you might want to tell them before they come. I bet Joy Reid’s already on the case.
And the Cuban protesters must be totally confused to see American media
(BLEEP) on their country. The country that ended slavery. Jim Crow and instituted affirmative action on behalf of blacks. But still.
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CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: It is fact that you see everywhere you look in black and white.
DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: The biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized up to the right.
SEN. BOB CASEY (D-PA): At the core of these voter suppression laws in my judgment at the state level is white supremacy. Simple as that.
CORNEL WEST, DIETRICH BONHOEFFER CHAIR, UNION THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY: We are reaching the point where the white supremacist Jim Crow sensibilities are devouring the very energies and souls of any Democratic possibility.
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GUTFELD: Yes. That made sense. The obvious point, racism exists just check a coke employee training session. But it’s harder to actually find these racists today. You want to ruin your life? Be a racist. So the left contrives racism. Today expecting kids to learn math is white supremacy.
Geology is racist, comedy is racist. The only thing not racist is racist against white people. That’s why so many hate crimes turn out to be hoaxes.
There’s such a shortage of real hate crimes that we got to concoct them to meet the media’s demand. I’m thinking about starting a production company that specializes in staging fake hate crimes. I have a call into Smollet’s people. Look, things could always get better because things are always worse. Somebody should tell CNN who still thinks it’s 1955. It’s ironic that people who call themselves progressives are stuck in the past.
But to deny that it’s gotten better. It’s not only dishonest, it’s harmful.
It’s like the condition. Munchausen by proxy. The media keeps telling us this nation is diseased with chronic racism when it really isn’t. Until it is. What does the angry white male think?
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TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Are things better or worse? I can’t complain. Good food, good wine, nice weather. Oh, you said in terms of race relations, right? Yes, I don’t mind discussing that subject. Why don’t I just have a sip of wine first?
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GUTFELD: Probably a wise move. But what does the angry black male think?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, what’s going on everybody? Jean here just filling in for Tyrus. He’s going to be right back real soon. Everything between me and him is super groovy. Couldn’t be better? If you got any questions hit me up. OK?
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Hey, Jean. Thank you so much.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, you got it, Tyrus. Good to see you, bud.
TYRUS: Sorry, man. Traffic was a mess.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No problem. Hey, can I get you something to drink?
TYRUS: No, I’m good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You sure?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK. One more hug. Come here.
TYRUS: You know what? Come on.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.
TYRUS: All right.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Good to see you, pal.
TYRUS: All right. Thank you, Jean. What a nice guy. What?
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GUTFELD: So what if the legacy media wasn’t part of this recipe? What if the news was reported without increasing discontent for the purpose of profit? Yes, and men can have babies. We live in an era where social media props up a desperate dying press. So it’s become less profitable to dial down strife. We must be at each other’s throats. Because the angrier we are at each other, the less likely we can unite against them.
Racial discord protects those in power, who keep the pot of hate simmering while they hide in their Snow White neighborhoods behind 25-foot iron gates.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. He gives new meaning to the words Florida man, former Florida Congressman Trey Radel. She knows more about security than a Baltimore armored car driver. Former State Department spokeswoman Morgan Ortega. If she’s on our panel one more day, she gets a free ice cream sundae. “OUTNUMBERED” co-host Emily Compagno.
And he’s so massive he seesaw a partner went missing. My massive sidekick and host of “NUFF SAID” on Fox Nation, Tyrus. Well, you know, we’re out of time. Oh, we got to go to the B-block. Sorry, Tyrus.
TYRUS: Yes. I figured that. You know, you’re not a racist but you damn sure our sizes. You’re always seesaws, the equators, my belt, I take bath in Atlantic Ocean like I get it. You’re mad. I’m big. You’re small. Let’s move on.
GUTFELD: I can’t.
TYRUS: What’s your question, white man?
GUTFELD: All right. When you look at — how —
TYRUS: Look me in the eyes when you talk to me, white man. Let’s get this over with.
GUTFELD: I’m thinking. How vast is the golf between the media perception and the reality of race relations?
TYRUS: How deep?
GUTFELD: How vast?
TYRUS: How vast?
TYRUS: You see what he did there? He made it about size again. Well, in this — in this situation, if I was going to — since we’re going on size.
TYRUS: I would say it’s Gutfeld like. Not Tyrus like.
GUTFELD: So it’s small.
TYRUS: It’s small. The whole point of the angry black man was to point out how it really is. Now, the Twitter world and the woke world wants to make it seem like we’re at each other’s throats.
TYRUS: But we’re not. Like the race relations on Twitter are horrible.
Because it’s fantasy world. You can be anything you want.
TYRUS: You didn’t have to be yourself and you put your — put a picture of a cat on there and say that’s you. I get it, good. But that narrative is not really how it is. Because we just don’t see the violence. There’s no attacks. I live in Mandeville, Louisiana. Not by choice, but I ended up there. But when I go — and I’m a regular guy. When I go shopping in the stores, there are people come up to me. A lot of older white women.
TYRUS: At first I was like, huh? What? What? Oh, I didn’t do — I didn’t take nothing. What do you want? So, to talk to me and say hello. And they say things like, you know what, Tyrus, you need a hug today. And I’d be like, I — apparently, I do. And I hug them. But now one of them says Ben goes Jungle Fever, check, off bucket list. You know what I’m saying? Like we — they – I’m part of their community and they care about me.
Just like — and I care — and I know their names and stuff. That is what America is really about. But unfortunately, no one’s going to buy that movie.
TYRUS: Seeing me quietly walk through a supermarket and various people of sizes, shapes and colors and ages saying hello, hello. Oh, you get into pickles? Go with this. Did you see what was on sale today? Hey, John. Like that’s boring.
TYRUS: What they really want is when I walk in. The lights go brighter. The manager goes, price check on negro walking through the aisle. He’s now making a left at the butcher. Watch him. Watch him. Oh, no. Oh, God. He’s going to the watermelon. Dear God, dear God. No. That’s not how it is. It’s not. It’s sexy, would probably watch that because we’re sick. But we’re OK.
TYRUS: We’re OK.
GUTFELD: You know, I would agree with you except when I see what Emily wore tonight.
TYRUS: What? The blue shoes?
TYRUS: You —
GUTFELD: I do not see — she’s wearing nothing but a white.
MORGAN ORTEGA, FORMER STATE DEPARTMENT SPOKESWOMAN: No. She’s had some blue.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Thank you, Morgan.
TYRUS: Emily’s darker than me. I thought she was on my team.
COMPAGNO: There you go. Well, I feel the same way that you do, Tyrus. And I felt that in this poll and this article coming out as well, that it’s sort of reflected on the fact that so much of people’s wokeism and advocacy.
It’s really just performative. That’s the whole point. So I saw in there that there was a surge of optimism among black Americans, about a year ago when they felt that for those who had experienced racial inequality and felt they had that people were starting to wake up too and that — and that they really were starting to have a voice be amplified.
And then it started to dwindle. And now it’s next to nothing. And I think the whole point is that they saw that everyone is like, OK, so if we get the pronounce right, if I hang this sign in my yard, if I say this, if I put a black square on Instagram, then we’re cool, right?
COMPAGNO: Right? And so I think the whole point is that they’re recognizing that those who are actually partaking in the conversation at this loud shouting Twitter level, and they’re putting symbols out there, and these things that matter, it’s all meaningless. All of it is meaningless. The actual things that would amplify and lift up communities of color, communities with low income, et cetera. That’s things like school choice.
That’s things like low taxes, right? That’s things like lessening regulations and in the towns and those are the conversations that those woke people aren’t having.
GUTFELD: And that’s why you need this race — this race narrative because everything you just mentioned, is not a liberal idea. So they need this and it brings me to this impossible experiment, Trey, you’re in media and I’m in media. The Impossible experiment would be what if the media shut down for one month? How would the psyche of an — our nation improve? Also, if it just — were all you had to judge life by is what Tyrus said about the supermarket. What would happen? It would —
TREY RADEL, FORMER FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN: It’d be a beautiful world.
RADEL: But before I talk about race relations. And I’m just deferring everything to you.
RADEL: Yes. I mean, look, we all live in our echo chambers. And when you’re being told constantly, that the world is terrible that racism exists. Even just look at the way that certain words have come into the American lexicon in just about the last five years, white supremacy, white privilege and when you’re constantly sharing that narrative, and hammering the people over the head with it, that’s what they’re going to believe.
You shut off the media, I think you have a much better world but the media can’t do that. They can’t go away from that. Because — and nor can the politicians This is about money and power. And with money, it’s a business model to sell hate. Just like Tyrus was saying, nobody’s going to buy the nice one, like, hey, look, and we all get along. And if — as long as they’re doing that, they’re selling, they’re selling the click baits to the eyes who tune into the T.V.
And with the politicians, it’s even worse. It’s about money in the way that they fundraise. Every freaking e-mail that you get about race relations are terrible. I’ll solve it to the way that they utilize it to garner votes.
RADEL: And it’s sad because you can’t even have conversations. He says, look — I speak a few other languages, I backpacked all over Latin America, not because I hate brown people, because I love culture, living in different cities in America. But I think what sucks is that I as someone who loves to talk about culture, interact with people and learn I’m not going to be the first to just start bringing up race relations with people.
GUTFELD: And you — and you’d be backpacking me, that’s — you’re culturally appropriating.
GUTFELD: How dare you? You know, it’s true.
RADEL: But me speaking Spanish is seriously being called cultural appropriation.
GUTFELD: Yes. You have to stay in your lane.
RADEL: Well, it’s about love.
GUTFELD: You have to stay in your white lane, Morgan. I’ve been telling you that forever.
ORTEGA: I have my white cowboy boots. That’s a stereotype.
GUTFELD: That’s a dog whistle to the area nations.
ORTEGA: How am I supposed to respond to that? OK. To your point —
TYRUS: I have a white shoe because I like white. I didn’t think it was really — I mean, I don’t like it that much. I change the color. But —
RADEL: I’m the only guy not wearing white here.
GUTFELD: White is — white is not a color. It’s a shade.
ORTEGA: This is very educational. So no, I — Trey, I like what you were saying about talking to each other. It made me think so when I was in middle school, I went to a predominantly black middle school. It was a charter school. My parents couldn’t afford to send us to private school.
And they started these charter schools in Florida where I was from to integrate the schools more. And I remember in elementary school and middle school, my grandfather who I spent a lot of time with because he was sick and at home sat me and my twin sister down and explained to us what happened that there used to be different fountains.
I remember this vividly as a kid that my parents had the conversation means that there was different restrooms, there was different water fountains, there was different places at restaurants that were white and black people could sit. And I remember vividly as a kid not being able to understand it.
And I just kept asking, but why? But why? My point is these conversations need to be had in the homes, amongst friends, amongst neighbors.
Where it doesn’t need to be had is on Twitter as you were talking about, Tyrus, and all these places where people are just tagging each other and are nasty. But as a country if we can have these conversations in our churches, with our families, with our friends, get outside of our comfort zone, talk to people of different races. I do think that the country can heal and thank God, actually most of the country is not on Twitter.
GUTFELD: Yes, that is true. It’s like 10 people.
GUTFELD: I don’t know. I just made up that stat. OK. We got to move up. Up next, the legend who will keep strumming his axe for the vaxxed and unvaxxed.
GUTFELD: The guitarist compared to God won’t give vaccine mandates the nod.
Eric Clapton the legendary English guitar is known for such hits as Karma Chameleon and Wake me up before you go go.
GUTFELD: Declared he won’t play any concerts were proven vaccines are required to attend. He issued the statement after Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that Brits will need vaccine passports to enter clubs in music venues. Wrote Clapton, “I wish to say that I will not perform on any stage where there’s a discriminated audience present. Unless there is provision made for all people to attend. I reserve the right to cancel the show.”
And he’s getting support from fellow musicians. And also Right Said Fred.
They wrote the 90s hit, I’m too sexy which as, you know, is a song based on the life of Stuart Varney. Yes, that’s a joke, Emily. Emily’s going to fact check that on Wikipedia. This week they tweeted Eric Clapton is the new punk that’s because Clapton stance against vaccine passport, stands in contrast to American bands like Green Day and the Foo Fighters.
They’ve been playing before vaccinated only crowds but honestly no one’s really missing anything at those shows except for basic power records and the support of the establishment. Here’s some footage from the latest Foo Fighters concert.
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GUTFELD: Can’t believe he was once in Nirvana. Morgan.
GUTFELD: I kind of — it’s kind of amazing to see like, you know, Eric Clapton taking the stance, right?
ORTEGA: I don’t know who it is.
GUTFELD: You don’t know who Eric Clapton is?
ORTEGA: I did Google it. But that I remembered once —
GUTFELD: Time out. Yes, Emily. The Birds. No, he’s not in The Birds.
Yardbirds, Yardbirds. No?
ORTEGA: I don’t know what your —
GUTFELD: Cream, you know, or Sunshine in my Love?
ORTEGA: These songs?
GUTFELD: What is happening in the world? What is happening?
COMPAGNO: She is going to outlive us all. Anyone. Gorgeously so. That’s beautiful.
ORTEGA: I mean, I — but I did Google him. And so, I thought, well, if you went to his concerts in the 70s and 80s, you probably don’t need the COVID vaccine. I think you could survive anything that you went through in that concert. But just kidding. You should get the vaccine.
GUTFELD: No. It is a fair point too that he can — Tyrus, that he can turn down these concerts because he’s super wealthy.
TYRUS: Yes. I mean, he’s —
GUTFELD: And so could Green Day and so could Foo Fighters.
TYRUS: I’m going to tell you right now, Tyrus going on, like just nobody breathe, let’s get through this. I guess I struggle with this. This — the fact that this is even an issue and why are we talking about it? Like whenever I roll my kids in school, I have to show their vaccine stuff. You know what I’m saying? It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. If you’re having a concert and you’re saying you can only go if you have a vaccine — a vaccine card or whatever.
OK, cool. And with — and go to the concert that you don’t have to show one at. I think the idea is, is that unfortunately, not all of us are pretty good at the honor system.
TYRUS: And there’s a lot of people saying, oh, I’m vaccinated, you know, and they’re not so.
GUTFELD: But America is based on the honor system, damn it.
GUTFELD: The whole world.
TYRUS: That’s why when we enroll our children, we have to show their vaccine — vaccination charts. I just feel like it’s — we’re just fighting over everything.
GUTFELD: I agree.
TYRUS: And it’s so like, oh, if you got the vaccine, you show the card. If you didn’t, you didn’t
TYRUS: That’s it.
TYRUS: Move on. This is —
GUTFELD: Trey, I assume you know who Eric Clapton is.
TYRUS: And I know who Eric Clapton is too.
GUTFELD: He did right to some Cocaine.
RADEL: Yes. (INAUDIBLE) I don’t know anything about that. Are you holding?
Look, how crazy is it that in almost 80-year-old man is now punk?
RADEL: Now a rebel. An 80-year-old British dude by the way. When I look at this at the bigger picture, I asked what the hell happened to liberals of the past? Stand up to the man. Fight the power. Rage Against the Machine.
Instead of F.U. I won’t do what you tell me, now it’s F.U. you better do what they tell you.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true.
RADEL: And now it’s Eric Clapton. Who is —
GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) said Fred. Don’t forget that.
GUTFELD: They’re not — they’re not just too sexy. They’re just too rebellious. They run Red Eye once.
ORTEGA: I actually don’t know who they are.
GUTFELD: Oh gee.
ORTEGA: I know the song I’m too sexy but no one’s ever heard of them.
They’ve just heard of the song.
GUTFELD: Yes. Oh, you know, how dare you insult Right Said Fred and Eric Clapton and Cocaine?
ORTEGA: They’re definitely coming on the show.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know, do — I invite them to come back on. Emily, I’m a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite because I agree with Trey that this — the idea
— the idea of vaccine passports seems a bit weird, comply — overly compliant. However, if it makes my life easier, if I get a better seat at the concert because, you know, I’m vaccinated. I’m all for it. So I’m telling you — I’m telling you right now, I am a full on hypocrite. But you knew that.
COMPAGNO: Totally fine. We love you anyway. I think that this makes him a rock star. An awesome rock star. Because here’s the thing, he is British and 80 and the system is going to check him meaning that he’s coming out and saying like, I’m only going to play in non-discriminated audiences, will guarantee that there’s going to be public regulations and laws there in the U.K. that says if you hold a concert in X private property, then people have to be vaccinated to attend.
So, it sort of checks them, right? It’s not as if he’s going to start hosting super spreaders everywhere but taking a stand against the establishment to your point. And for once someone has stood up for what they believe and he’s taking that stand and whether or not he can afford it. He’s still coming up publicly. Same with Van Morrison.
GUTFELD: Yes. Van Morrison. Do you know who Van Morrison is, Morgan?
GUTFELD: Brown-Eyed Girl?
ORTEGA: Oh, yes. My brown-eyed girl.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s it. Exactly. Good job. Good job. I would hate — I would hate to have you as a partner on like pub trivia nights.
COMPAGNO: I’m really good at pub trivia.
GUTFELD: Yes, but you would also drive me crazy too.
TIMPF: Well, just getting — yes, just —
GUTFELD: I’m sorry. But you would probably have — you probably throw out
400 answers and they’d all be somewhat right but maybe wrong.
TYRUS: Just not enough to get the point.
ORTEGA: No. We are (INAUDIBLE) our champions in Seattle we’re pub trivia champions.
ORTEGA: So never mind. I’m not going to be your partner. I will be your partner, Morgan.
GUTFELD: No. She’s going go make — she’s going to bring — do you know who the Beatles are? You name a Beatle song? Can you name the members of The Beatles? You can’t, can you?
GUTFELD: All right.
ORTEGA: All right. I have mommy brain.
GUTFELD: Who’s the lead singer of the Rolling Stones.
ORTEGA: I’ll try. The one that goes ah.
TYRUS: No. That’s —
GUTFELD: That’s (INAUDIBLE) this is amazing. I can do this for a whole hour.
TYRUS: Why are we talking about racism?
GUTFELD: I know.
TYRUS: Her lack of music knowledge is offensive.
GUTFELD: This is incredible.
ORTEGA: No. We can talk about the opera? Can you talk about the opera because I can beat you on opera trivia.
COMPAGNO: Yes. She’s cultured. She’s had the different music knowledge.
TYRUS: Whoa, whoa.
ORTEGA: Thank you, Emily. Thank you, Emily.
GUTFELD: This is the most —
COMPAGNO: And she’s 21 and beautiful.
TYRUS: What does it have to do? I’m —
COMPAGNO: Because we’ve all been alive since like the sixth time.
GUTFELD: I either — I get —
TYRUS: No, I haven’t.
GUTFELD: I’m getting yelled at by the producers we have to move on but this is way more interesting.
ORTAGUS: I know the one Beatles guy married the one lady and she broke them up. I know that.
GUTFELD: Yoko Ono?
ORTAGUS: Yoko Ono.
TREY RADEL, FORMER REPUBLICAN FLORIDA CONGRESSMAN: Its sounds like a Joe Biden — is the one woman —
TYRUS: And them somebody shot him, yes.
ORTAGUS: I know sports stars when they’re married to a Kardashian.
TYRUS: That’s not great analogy.
RADEL: Or the barometer?
TYRUS: All right, we got to go. We got to go. We’re like 10 minutes over.
Up, next they were self-righteous bores who couldn’t even score.
GUTFELD: First they kneel then got blown out on the field. Yes, sadly when it was time to get physical their only points were political. The U.S.
women’s soccer team may the statement against the country they think is so evil that they’ll represent them internationally by kneeling before their first Olympic match against Sweden and got crushed 3-0. The Swedes also kneeled but that’s because they were assembling an Ikea dresser. Thank you.
Meanwhile, I got this good.
The IOC’s new rules allow athletes to express their views during interviews, social media and on the field before play. The British and Chilean teams also took a knee with their history of discrimination against sea bass. Back to Americans, we take absolutely no pleasure at all in their stunning loss. Of course, we are lying. All right. What do you think?
COMPAGNO: The IOC made it clear even though it seems like their law was supporting this. What you just read, they said you still can’t demonstrate on the podium, on the field during play, you can’t be disruptive et cetera.
The Olympics are supposed to unite us both globally and in the country.
Know your audience. No one wants to see that right.
GUTFELD: Trey, what are you thought?
RADEL: Spoiled children this country whether it’s the making capitalism evil, or America’s all racist and oppressive, they should learn their history. Capitalism in this country have afforded more opportunity to more people than any other country on the freaking planet. And these spoiled kids need to learn.
GUTFELD: Morgan, do you know what soccer is?
GUTFELD: Care to comment on the?
ORTAGUS: It’s called football in Europe.
GUTFELD: Name all the countries of Europe. No, I’m kidding.
ORTAGUS: That I might actually know.
GUTFELD: You only know facts that matter.
ORTAGUS: OK, on a serious note, right now in Hong Kong, Cuba, Iran around the world, people are protesting against tyrannical regimes and what are they hoping they protest? The American flag. So, when you go and represent America, you were there with athletes who are under oppressive regimes many times and look to this flag as a symbol of freedom. Remember what real tyranny is like, talk to some of your colleagues.
GUTFELD: Good point. Tyrus, this is why I didn’t participate in the Olympics this year.
TYRUS: And you know what, I support you in that.
GUTFELD: Thank you, thank you very much.
TYRUS: You’re going to have to pull vote in another four years and that’s fine, you’ll be ready.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, I’m you know that I throw the steeple.
TYRUS: Yes, I saw that. I witnessed it. Yes. Emily said know your audience.
They don’t. Anyone here watched? I didn’t. Move on.
GUTFELD: MoveOn.org, you know what I’m saying?
GUTFELD: Thank you very much. All right, up next do men have an addiction to carbon emissions?
GUTFELD: Should men get a pass for emitting too much gas? And should there be a rule against dudes wasting fuel? A survey published in the Journal of industrial ecology, read by three people finds that men create a bigger carbon footprint with their distinctive spending choices said one researcher, “The way they spend is very, very, very stereotypical, sorry.
Women spend more money on home decoration, health and clothes. And men spend more money on fuel for cars eating out alcohol and tobacco.”
It’s almost like there are sex differences between genders, which as you know is impossible since genders are fluid. The one caveat we must mention here this study was done in Sweden which as you know doesn’t exist.
Meanwhile, in America, if you’re have excess carbon emissions is pushing some men to the brink.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
COMPAGNO: All right. So, Michael, you were telling the group about your carbon emissions?
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Doc, I drive my dodge pickup around the block for no reason. And I keep my air conditioners going when I’m not at home. I don’t want my T.V.s to get hot.
COMPAGNO: That’s progress. At least you’re not driving the Hummer.
MACHI: I keep that running all the time too.
COMPAGNO: I see. Well, tell me about this barbecue.
MACHI: Well, I only had five guests. I’m not very popular. But we grilled up 40 pounds of beef.
COMPAGNO: Wow, that’s —
MACHI: Awesome? You’re right about that. After the grilling, we throw our clothes in the fire just to watch him burn. And we were lacking a farts we care about the emissions. I think that’s enough for today.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: When are we going to talk about nocturnal emissions?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That’s disgusting. So Trey, I love this story because it combines two things the lazy media loves climate and gender differences. Because you can talk about climate forever, and you can talk about — you can apply it to any story. Like if you take one variable like geology, you can talk about climate and gender. If you want to talk about style, you can talk about climate — it’s like, it’s just the easiest thing and it’s pointless.
RADEL: Yes, I think that the real concern here, though, should be a concern for men with small carbon footprints. Men with small carbon footprint, they have some serious issues, mental issues. And they you know, they do things like they got a chip on their shoulder. They’re always wanting to tell you what kind of carbon you can have or what you can’t do.
They go by a yellow Corvette, they get divorced. They marry a woman half their age, or worse, they run for the United States Senate or Congress, men with small carbon footprints. And what I’m getting at is that liberals have (BLEEP), I mean, carbon footprints, and they try to take that and force their way of living on you.
GUTFELD: I hope you’ve covered your ears, Emily. He said, (BLEEP). Tyrus, what — is your carbon footprint bigger or smaller than your wife’s?
TYRUS: I don’t know. I got a pretty big carbon footprint. I drive a big truck, and I’m good with it. That’s it.
GUTFELD: That’s it?
GUTFELD: Morgan, so you’ve been keeping up on climate change? It’s a thing.
The planet is getting, the planet is getting warmer maybe caused by man or maybe temporary, what are your thoughts on the gender differences?
ORTAGUS: I have a feeling we’re just going to talk about (BLEE) this whole segment. So, I’m just going to lean right into it.
TYRUS: I beg your pardon. I talked about the carbon footprint in my large truck. And I’m not going to apologize for being American who wants to drive a truck, Ma’am.
ORTAGUS: I like truck.
ORTAGUS: He really, really, really wants the female viewers look at the size of his shoe, when we see that we can have that referenced.
TYRUS: They’re bright green, I can’t hide from it.
GUTFELD: All right, enough of this banter.
ORTAGUS: When I read this, the first thing I thought was, of course men do this. The world’s richest man just went up in a penis rocket a few days ago.
GUTFELD: That’s true.
ORTAGUS: Right? Like if that is not a metaphor for this whole segment, I don’t know what this is.
TYRUS: It is aerodynamic — what are we doing?
GUTFELD: It was interesting. I will give him, I will give — what’s your name, Matt. I’m joking, Emily. So, Morgan. So, Morgan, no I’m kidding.
ORTAGUS: We both —
GUTFELD: What about your spending habits? What about your spending habits?
COMPAGNO: I’m definitely that exception because a large amount of my money goes toward eating out fuel and alcohol.
COMPAGNO: I enjoy that. I enjoy all three things. And I will, I do have to admit, and maybe it’s because I grew up in a household with only sisters.
But I had to — I didn’t know what nocturnal emissions were.
GUTFELD: That’s good.
COMPAGNO: And now I know. And I’m horrified.
TYRUS: So, is everybody happy? Emily has a huge carbon footprint? We’re all good.
GUTFELD: You know, what? The one — the only thing I could take away from this story is the journal of industrial ecology is a completely made up idea. If you actually think about industrial ecology, we — I so, and I went and I looked for it, and I tried to figure out what are the tools you use? There are no tools. It’s just like concepts. It’s just a way to make money off climate change. All right, there we go. Up next, a man takes a woman’s disguise to hide his COVID lies.
GUTFELD: This frequent flyer was a cross dressing liar. Earlier this week an Indonesian man, they do exist Morgan, with COVID boarded a plane in Jakarta pretending to be his wife, Emily. We wish we had the after picture.
Apparently, he wore a veil that covered his entire face except his eyes, so at least he was masked up. That’s the picture we’re using.
He was also carrying a phony ID vaccination card and negative COVID test all in his wife’s name. The jig was up after an eagle eyed flight attendant saw him change clothes in the lavatory. Kudos to the flight attendant who likes to watch people change in bathrooms. But this reminds us of a dubious company that tried to catch in when the vaccine was hard to come by.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Want the COVID vaccine but don’t feel like waiting months for it? Frustrated that grandma’s going to get it much sooner than you? Then come on down to Darryl and Carol’s vaccine line cutter emporium.
Our highly trained technicians can make any young person look old, so they can cut to the front of the vaccine line. Just listen to these satisfied customers.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Here’s how I looked before I went to Darryl and Carol’s. Here’s how I looked when they were done with me. Can’t wait to cut that vaccine line?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, before Daryl and Carol, I’m barely old enough to buy a beer. Now, thanks to them, I’m ready to go from last to first. Sure they stole my wallet, but I’m paying this to get the vaccine, right? So, get down to Carol and Daryl vaccine line cutter emporium today. Your friends will think you’re a jerk, but who needs friends anyway?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Tyrus, if someone tries really hard to pull off this kind of scam, shouldn’t they be rewarded?
TYRUS: Listen, I’m beyond. You know, we here at the GREG GUTFELD, we don’t condone dressing up and sneaking on planes pretending to be your wife. But if you must, yes, you don’t change until you get an Uber.
TYRUS: Everybody knows that. I would give him an A for effort. But an F in execution. He, he’s watched way too many movies where the bad guy gives the plot away before if he just shuts his mouth and sits in a seat, he gets there.
TYRUS: Which is a whole other issue with the airlines but I’m not even going there. But just to focus on him and a little ruse would help just putting it out there.
GUTFELD: You know, you’re so right about it when you want when you try to get like information from T.V. and movies, it does — I think, I always thought like you could hide behind a plant. Right? Because like it’s sitcoms, whenever you were on your scheduled two dates like on Three’s Company, Jack Tripper would always hide behind a potted plant and no one would ever see him.
TYRUS: Right, exactly.
GUTFELD: Am I the only person that seen that episode? People in cartoons, people in cartoons, they get to hide behind plants. If somebody hides behind a plant, no one can see them. But it doesn’t work in real life, Emily, I found that out.
COMPAGNO: And you don’t have that little soundtrack that goes — as you’re running with the plant in front of you. But look, I thought this was brilliant. Here’s why. The only reason he got caught it wasn’t a flight attendant, it was my understanding it was an officer who just happened to see him change in the bathroom. Otherwise, he would have got away scot- free.
You can hide a lot of things under a (INAUDIBLE). So, the fact that that was his, that’s how he rolled, this isn’t a photo of him like he had a full a thorough covering on it was brilliant. He could have smuggled a lot more in there than just his wife’s identity.
GUTFELD: Did you see the picture?
COMPAGNO: I saw a picture of a (INAUDIBLE), like I just Googled it.
GUTFELD: Because I was like, yes, I didn’t see the picture. This is like a
— I never like stories where I don’t see the picture.
TYRUS: Does everyone has to say do this when they talk about — have you noticed that?
GUTFELD: Morgan? Morgan you travel a lot, have you ever resorted to this?
ORTAGUS: I have. My attire was pretty ugly on the way here so maybe. No, but don’t — when you’re at the airport, you normally have to take the mask down so that they can look at your whole face and I thought you know the poor person and checking must have been really worried that like, maybe they thought he was transitioning.
ORTAGUS: And then they thought, oh my god if I, if I say something then I’m discriminating. I would be afraid if I was looking at — if I’m discriminating against someone’s transitioning, that’s where, I don’t know.
GUTFELD: This is how you, you can definitely rob by saying like, what how are you — why do you think I’m a man? You like, you could just be like, you could dress in disguises? I’m thinking about doing that Trey, just so I can get on “FOX AND FRIENDS.”
RADEL: I think that’s hot.
GUTFELD: Yes. You should see me in a — well, no, you shouldn’t really because it’ll make you throw up. You get the last word. What do you make of this story?
RADEL: These are the days that you can identify as a woman and as vaccinated. Yes, that’s, that’s exactly what he was doing. And he’ll have to wait until Eric Clapton buys an airline to fly next.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Don’t move. We’ll be right back.
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks a Congressman Trey Radel, Morgan Ortagus, Emily Compagno, Tyrus, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you America.
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