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Happy Friday, everybody. Yeah, you look fantastic. There I go, talking to myself again. So they’re making another one of those “Scream” movies and get this, they’re moving the setting to New York City. We went to Brian Kilmeade for a comment.
Something clearly is wrong with him. I mean, other than his personality, looks and career choice. But according to one cast member, setting the movie in this city will make it 20 times more mortifying. Yeah, no —-. All you got to do is turn the damn camera on and point it down any street, and if there isn’t a burning Fox News Christmas tree in your way, and just hope that someone doesn’t beat you senseless and steal your camera before you’re done.
So how is New York lately? Well, you got machete attacks. You got gangs on dirt bikes, robbing people in daylight. You got strung out homeless. And that’s just in Kat’s apartment. You got sick-o’s shoving people in front of trains. You got transients clobbering the elderly. You got Jesse Watters hanging out on Sixth Avenue, hoping you’ll recognize him. Don’t give him money, or he’ll give you a copy of his book. Disgusting.
So these days, do you really need to set a horror movie in New York City? Especially “Scream”? It’s already here. Check out this tape. This is a robbery that took place in New York City yesterday, you see that under that circle, well, all the robbers there, they’re wearing “Scream” masks as they rob the place. So I guess the good news is the production team won’t need a costume department. But, you know, this has to be a problem for the filmmakers. How can they top reality? How do you make a movie set in New York that’s scarier than the setting itself? You know, it’s like opening a Domino’s in Rome. That’s pretty good.
One of the armed robbery suspects donned a ghoulish mask and what appeared to be an assault rifle. (NYPD )
All right, all right, it’s like trying to make a heart attack scarier by saying “boo.” How about this? It’s like trying to make a horror flick about Joy Behar’s sex life. My point is, it’s scarier in real life. Yeah. I should have led with that one. But a horror movie shouldn’t have horror at the start. You have to build up to that, right? But New York City is horrible from start to finish, which was also the review for the Emmy Awards.
So they’re saying that this latest installation will follow four survivors as they start a new chapter in the grim apple, they’re calling it the bloodiest “Scream” yet. It was either that or do the thing in San Francisco where it would be the poopiest “Scream” yet. I would have said —-, but I was trying to edit myself.
Now I live in New York City, I don’t need a horror movie, I have the subway station. I don’t ride it, but I sometimes pee there, and it’s getting dangerous. At times, I have real life zombies on my street, manic, agitated, angry, and those are just all the employees CNN just let go.
But citizens are at the mercy of humans who exist independent of laws and civility. Remember those classic photos of the Great Depression we saw? We never thought that could happen again, except it’s here, and we have the visuals, and it’s worse because, like Kat’s hair extensions, it’s self-inflicted. I guess the streets became so safe that we forgot why progressive politicians decided that the way things worked was no longer necessary. So they threw the laws away, and now we’re free-falling into an ambivalent abyss that’s deeper and darker than Michael Moore’s bellybutton. Oh, yeah. Think about that. You can get a full finger in there, and he’ll pay for it.
Those people on the streets of the Depression, they were dads and brothers, war veterans, today, maybe it’s a tiny portion of that, but no, these aren’t people looking for a job. Employers aren’t seeking a guy that spits on people on a stairwell. It’s why Keith Olberman is still unemployed. But hey, people like horror movies, it’s escapist entertainment. So you want a really scary movie. How about this one? It’s scarier than anything Hollywood puts out, it’s a doorbell video of a woman being attacked by three men on a Chicago street, and it was turned into a campaign ad made by a conservative SuperPAC. Here’s just a tiny bit of it.
Now that’s a horror movie. The only difference is there was nobody there to yell “cut,” to end the scene. And it’s upsetting all the people you’d expect. The media and Democrats, for example, don’t like it when you show them the results of their disastrous ideas. In fact, they’re more upset about the video than the crime itself. Maybe they’ll try to censor it and call the makers terrorists. And why? Because every time you point out crime, you’re pointing out how these —– liberal mayors have failed you, and that they have no solutions other than hiring their own private security.
They’ll make a federal case over pronouns while dropping attempted murder cases to misdemeanors. The governor called the ad disgusting and why, because it’s real and politicians like him aren’t. They prefer rhetoric, symbolism and empty phrases like “the Soul of America,” “The Big Lie,” “Threat to Democracy,” and my favorite “dog-faced pony soldier.”
Osamah Aldhabyani was attacked during his shift at Blue Moon convenience store. (NYPost/William C Lopez)
But that video is reality, and it’s time reality took the wheel from the fantasists who think the real dangers are moms at school board meetings or truckers in red hats. It’s funny you don’t see them on that doorbell, cam. Of course, left wing groups claim the ad uses victims as political pawns. Yeah, because it’s not like they did that with George Floyd or Michael Brown. Fact is, Democrats exploit more victims than personal injury lawyers. Sorry, Emily.
You know remember the line, “never let a crisis go to waste?” It was first said by Rahm Emanuel and later, Nancy Pelosi’s plastic surgeon, but only liberals can exploit a crisis, since they’re the ones creating them. So yeah, that ad, which was played during a Bears game, it shocked viewers. But that’s the point. Maybe you’ll pay attention to crime if it shows up in your living room.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel’s (FNC) “Gutfeld!” (weekdays 11PM/ET) and co-host of “The Five” (weekdays 5PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. He is the author of several books. His latest is “The Plus: Self-Help for People Who Hate Self-Help.” Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.